Chainletter Reply

I found this on http://www.strangeplaces.net/ and I liked it, so I decided to post it here.

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare
and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme
virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal
electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion
chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that
if you send them on, that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas
with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough
money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her
off to the travelling freak show. Do you honestly believe
that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send
this email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here!
If I scroll down this page and make a wish, every Playboy
Bunny in the magazine'll visit me! What a bunch of B.S.!
So, basically, this message is a big ***** to all the people
out there who have nothing better to do than to send me
stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter
leprechauns will come into my apartment and terrorize me in
my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by
Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget
pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year
2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for
longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. If you're
going to forward something, at least send me something
mildly amusing.
I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends,
and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow
receive a Nickel from some "omniscient being" forwards about
90 times. I don't give a damn! Show a little intelligence and
think about what you're actually contributing to by sending
out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
Chain Letter Type 1:
(scroll down)
Make a wish!!!
Keep Scrolling

No, really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!
Not that, you pervert!!
STOP!!!!
Wasn't that fun? :)
Hope you made a great wish :)
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of
all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5
seconds, you will be assaulted by a mad goat and thrown off
a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because,
THIS letter isn't like those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
Really!!! Here's how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you
for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at
you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a
plot on your life.
*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you
for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there
is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no
arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life
could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar
will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy
from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have
absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a
complete load of B.S. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in
the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send
this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!
Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This
is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and
probably not as many sad jerks with nothing better to do. So this
is how it works... Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7
minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She
had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then
tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was
gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying
out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.
This Could Happen To You!!!